Lokokokoko

Black out in a can!

I don't know if you have had the now infamous "4 Loko" but if so then you know that the statement above is true. One can averages around $2.50 and is equivalent to drinking 6.8 Bud Lights and 4 cups of coffee. But 7 Bud Lights are roughly equivalent to 4.5 good beers. So still, 4.5 beers and 4 cups of coffee for $2.50 taint bad. From my own experience the only real bad part of 4 Lokos are the taste. I feel like they melt down jolly ranchers and mix it with prison toilet wine. It's quite revolting actually to someone like me who drinks dark stouts for the most part. But if you have a sweet tooth and aren't a beer connoisseur then who knows, you might freakin' love it.

The problem is that drinking one tall boy of Loko won't take you long. If you drink 2 Lokos in two hours then in truth you have had 9 beers and 8 cups of coffee within 120 minutes (14 beers for you Bud Light drinkers). You are going to be fucked up is what this means. So fucked up in fact that people are being hospitalized nationally by these new caffeine beers. Loko and other beers like it are under the gun by the Food and Drug Administration and are being required to prove that the combination of alcohol and caffeine isn't harmful.

Loko has already been banned in some college towns and is now banned statewide in Michigan. If these companies can't prove that they aren't endangering the lives of their consumers than this drink might be gone before you know it.

The hype of these drinks are growing extremely rapid though. There have been multiple songs released about them. All of them just as silly as the drink they're about. Check out a few when you are getting Loko yourself.

Loko 4 That Loko

Whoa That Kinda Drunk There Is Kinda Scary

Saxin Waxin

So if you aren't a resident of Michigan then go out and try this new infamous death drunk drink. Just remember what you have read and be safe. My personal recommendation is to wait at least an hour between Lokos. When that caffeine starts wearing down you'll know if you're ready to slam your face into another Loko, or into the floor.